snow

i hear it's snowing in colorado.  big blizzard.  it's not that i wish i were there, i just wish i was anywhere but here.

i got another lecture (talking to) because i said that if another person moved in here i would have to leave.  he just doesn't get it.  i'm criticized for having feelings that don't mesh with what he thinks i should feel.  he knows what's best for me.  he knows what's best for everyone.   i am not doing what i need to be doing to "improve" myself.  i'm stupid for feeling down.  i'm lazy for feeling depressed. 

i'm not sure how he thinks that this helps me?  all it does is solidify how i'm feeling and why i feel it.

i am miserable.  i can't remember a time when i felt this miserable.  in the past when i've been hurt at least i had a job, friends to talk to, something to do.  now, being unemployed and basically trapped ~ i have nothing.