really?

as it is with my life, if things are going too good, something will happen to blast that to smithereens.

my son's parole officer showed up tonight. that, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. it is what they are supposed to do. and frankly, i've been surprised that she hasn't been here before tonight. she also came rather late (9:30 pm) which surprised me.

apparently, he had a hot UA. this was news to me as he didn't tell me. needless to say, i was livid. i thought the stress of everything was over. now i'm wondering what i should do. should i put ALL of my stuff into storage? she's taking him before the parole board, which will happen in about a month. if he goes back to a half-way house, then what happens to all of my things? this begs the decision that i will not give him anything to take to his apartment that i won't mind losing.

i just can't, for the life of me, figure out why he can't do the right thing. he's a bright kid. he's a con artist. he's a consummate liar. he's a manipulator. he just chooses to do the wrong thing all the time for the instant gratification.

there is a part of me that is glad to be going away so i don't have to deal with this anymore. my heart, mind, body and soul can't take it. i literally thought i was going to have a heart attack tonight. i love him, but i can't do this anymore.

11:33pm mst