mandatory sterilization

this woman should never be allowed to have, or be around, children again.

i know all about addiction.  it makes you do things you wouldn't normally.  but don't tell me you do not have the mind to know that having your two year old be around used needles, drugs, guns and axes is ridiculous.

this should be considered first degree murder and she should spend the rest of her life in jail.  this was not a "mistake."

i am so disgusted with people hurting children!!!

same for this couple.  both sterilized and never allowed to have children again.  EVER.  12 day old child???!!!  for fuck's sake!!!!  what the fuck is wrong with people??  the parents in their mug shots don't even look upset!  ugh!!

and this shit right here is why i don't believe there is a "god." 

beautiful

and smell good.  from my son, via his girlfriend.

first thing he's ever gotten me for my birthday.

thank you, Son.  i love you.

geezus

why do freaking billionaires think they can run the country??

haven't we learned from Resident Chump already??  just because you're a business man doesn't mean you know the law, you know politics, etc.

just fucking stop it already.   and the thing is this dude, if he runs as an independent could potentially take votes away from democrats and could cause Chump to win. 

i don't even want to think about 4 more years of the colossal buffoon. 

happy birthday

to me.  🎉🎈🍨🎂

the only text i've received today for my birthday is one from the doctor's office who did my colonoscopy last year. 

bwhahahahahaha

i'm so popular. 

lol

so this morning at 5:00am, the weather forecast was "light snow" .. accumulation of 1" in my area.

then at 7:00am they updated. 

BAH!

this was what it looked like when it took me 40 minutes to drive 2.0 miles to work:

now it looks like this 2 hours later:

the news just reported that my area has 11.3" of snow and counting!  WHOO HOO.

the BS part is that it's supposed to stop and the sun will come out this afternoon. i HATE that!!

this was a pretty good deal!

UPDATE:  2:30pm MST
ugh!!  i hate when this happens 😥😭

 

 

:(

consequences suck.  that's for sure.

2 years clean on meth as of 01/24/19.  i am proud of him.  that was the day i turned him in to the police the last time and he went to prison. he spent 2 years, one year in the TC program.  he's been out since September.

smoking weed.  hot UA.  violation.  on restriction.

written up for having "too many friends he texts." 

couple sips of beer.  hot UA.  violation.  arrested and back in jail.

as a parent of an addict who has been addicted his entire life since he was 12, i know it's hard to change habits.  i also know that the idea of "freedom" is something that is so hard to anticipate.  and wait for.  and when you've spent your whole life self-sabotaging, it's hard to change that too.

30 days away from being out of the halfway house.  moving into his first apartment. 

now, he will lose the job he loves.  will have no money to move into the apartment.  and when he gets out in 30 days, have no where to go.

how do you do so well .. and then smash it all?

i will never understand. 

you have it in YOUR power to make choices.  it's your choice.  you know you weren't supposed to do these things.  you knew everything that you've gained in the last 4 months was at risk.  and you threw it away.

you promised me when you got out of prison that you would NEVER be in handcuffs again.  EVER.  but now, here you are.  another arrest.  another jail term. 

*sigh*

i love you, son.  i just don't get your thought process.  i will never understand.

reason #1,173

i will NEVER travel to Australia.

this is reason #1. 

i wish

that this man would run for President.

he never will, but the U.S. and the world needs a leader like him.

if he ran in 2020, no doubt he would win by a landslide.

no words necessary

shame

this is a great article and so true.

why the hell do we have a holiday dedicated to a Native American killer?  (Columbus)

would we have a holiday dedicated to Hitler??  (i'm sure Resident Chump would love that.)

and i blame the kid's parents and school for teaching him to be a racist jerk.  his behavior was deplorable and it still IS as he refuses to apologize.

the scary part, is that kids like this are our future. 

lawd help us all.

love letter #17

i LOVE this kid.

i think he should run for President some day.

i hope he wins the State Science Fair as well.

kudos, Ace.  and Jameis Winston rocks!

now THIS

is what i'm talkin about.

hell yeah!!

we'll see if it continues throughout the day like "they" say .....

the best superbowl ads ... ever

1.  Budweiser

2.  E-Trade Babies

3.  More Budweiser

💜💜💜

deja vu

yea. 

where have i heard this before?

*sigh*

he just texted me.

just when i was resigned that he was never going to contact me again and i was going to be okay ... i get this message about 10 minutes ago:

i know it's not until next wednesday but i'll be out of the country for a while by then so i'm wishing you a Happy Birthday🎉🎉 a little early and hoping it's an excellent year for you in every way🎂🎂

when i heard the text i just thought it was my son.  when i saw the text, my heart slammed into my chest.

why does it upset me?  sounds like a very nice text.  it upsets me because i responded by saying thanks and asking how he is doing.  no response.  nothing.

you obviously still have my phone #.  you obviously are still thinking of me.  but yet, you refuse to engage in conversation.  so what is the point?  why bother?

words from one of my favorite songs:

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

the goal

i am going to go one week (starting tomorrow) not reading ANYTHING to do with politics, the government, the State of the Union (we are fucked), Resident Chump or any of his racist cronies.

SCOTUS handed Resident Chump today with a win on banning transgendered persons from serving in the military.

are. you. fucking. kidding. me.

fuck SCOTUS.  we are fucking doomed for years to come. 

so after reading this above and my heart palpitations, i've decided to stop reading the news.

i will just look at the weather app on my phone to find out (tentatively) what the weather is going to be.  not that any forecaster can EVER get it right.

maybe i will be in a better all-around mood.

we'll see, eh?

uhhh no

yea.

that snow that was supposed to happen?

no bueno.

NOTHING. 

sure would be nice to have a job where you can be WRONG every day and get paid hundreds of thousands to do it.

ugh.

love letter #16

this

yipeeeee!!!!!

please baby geezus, let it snow like 6+ inches.  12" would be a plus!

'nuff said

love letter #15

this little guy is a miracle.

it was not his time to go (and it should NEVER be by euthanasia  ... SPAY and NEUTER your animals).  (and why is a shelter killing PUPPIES??  shame on you shelter!)

and i don't quite get the logistics. a puppy from Oklahoma gets picked by a no-kill shelter in Iowa? 

anyway....

my love goes out to the agency, family, etc who adopted the beautiful boy and who wants to show him love and a fur-ever home.   they haven't said yet who he goes home with, but i do hope it's the agency that trains dogs for veterans and it's the veteran who needs a companion.

yay Rudy!

bwhahahahah

priceless!!

Shutdown 2019

what Chump is doing is so outrageous.  HE, nor anyone on his staff, should not be drawing a paycheck either. 

pot meet kettle

*smdh*

NFL

National Football Liars?

the officiating was despicable.  and game changing. 

and i am sick to death of the Cheatroits getting away with utter bullshit.  while, being in the AFC West, and the Chiefs being one of our rivals, and generally i would NEVER root for them, i was all in for them to win the AFC Championship and beat the shit out of the Cheatroits.

but again, another controversial call AND some new bullshit OT rules, that was not going to happen.

two championship games.  two OTs. 

i won't be watching the Stupid Bowl this year.

i will, however, be watching The Puppy Bowl XV as i have every year since it's inception!!  💙💙💙

sadness

this is one of the saddest things i've ever seen.

this poor little baby.

the despicable part is that reports say the officers were pointing guns at the toddler.

are you serious? 

the nerve

i don't know why this surprises me.

but it does.

still.

what a couple of colossal hypocrites!!!

and then there's this.

hey, have i mentioned how much i hate these two?

most dangerous person in america

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is not even in the top 10.

but rounding out the top 5:

5.  Lindsay Graham
4.  Resident Chump
3.  James Woods
2.  Mike Pence
1.  Mitch McConnell

please tell me

this is a horrible story by any stretch of the imagine.

there is a man out there who was having sex with a female in a vegetative state.  she can't move.  she can't communicate.  nothing.  he raped her.  she got pregnant and had a baby.

but why the hell would ANY family leave a person in a vegetative state for 27 years???  she is 29 years old, so she had an injury, accident, illness at age 2 years old.  and has been in this state ALL HER LIFE.

will someone tell me what this accomplishes?  why would you do that?

son, i'm telling you now.  pull the fucking plug.  if you ever let me in that state, i will haunt you forever.

fish are friends ....

not food ....

love, Bruce.

the smoking gun

i haven't talked about this buffoon in a bit, because frankly, any time i read about him, see an article about him or see his face, i literally want to puke.

but now, this has come to light.

and then there is this.  

this is going to be a shit show.

and as much as i want to see this fucking imbecile out of the White House, then that means this son of Satan will be the President and we could be in WORSE trouble.  a colossal hypocrite of course, but he is evil.  i truly see / feel EVIL even when i look at him.  he scares me. 

and the fact that there is still even ONE Chump supporter, is disturbing beyond words. the amount of lies and corruption that has taken place is reprehensible.

and his little jab to Nancy Pelosi this week, giving details of a planned trip out of the country that compromised security in every sense of the words.

what a fucking asshole he is.  he's like a damn toddler throwing temper tantrums.

dear baby geezus.  no wonder the world hates us.  well, except Russia.  we are a laughing stock.

and it is Resident Chump's fault that 800,000 federal workers have gone almost 30 days without pay, while he's writing childish notes on White House letter head and throwing hissy fits on Twitter.

his fault, and his ALONE.

i despise this megalomaniac. 

love letter #14

to the human who rescued Cassie, you're my hero.

thank you for giving a fur-ever home to this gorgeous girl who had been waiting so long for her human to arrive.

may she bring you years of joy and companionship.  there is nothing like a dog's love.  💜💜💜

mood level defcon 10

was in a freaking horrible, foul mood this morning. 

like ready to walk out of my job mood. 

doesn't help that the first time in a month i want a cheat day and went to Burger King this morning to get an egg and cheese biscuit.  i could smell it all the way to work.  when i got in and got settled, i gently unwrapped the sandwich .. and WTF.  sausage on it!?!  grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr  you have ONE fucking job to take my order and to make it correctly.  how HARD is that??  i was the ONLY person in the drive through!?!

oh.  yeah.  i unleashed on the manager.  i told her your employees have ONE JOB.  and they can't even get that right. 

and it's not like i could just take the sausage off because it was stuck to the top bun by the cheese and the sausage juices all over the egg.  son of a bitch.

guess it was the universe telling me, "tsk tsk, no you can't have that."  meh

but i just looked outside .. and it's SNOWING!!!

⛄⛄

everything is now right with the world. 

sort of. 

love letter #13

thank you Gillette.

i love your new commercial. 

the world is going insane over it.  in a negative way.

"Gillette’s new ad campaign encourages men to serve as an example to their kids. It encourages men to keep boys from becoming bullies and to teach them to respect women."

yet it has almost a million "dislikes."

men (mostly) are calling for a ban on Gillette products saying they will never buy another.  but WHY?  why are they so fucking offended by this?

because men don't want to look at themselves and see how they are LIKE the situations depicted in the commercial??  because they don't want to admit? 

that's the only thing i can think of. 

what do you think?

weather

i am so frustrated with our freaking weather.

i'm used to it being bipolar in Colorado but this is ridiculous.

54 today
34 tomorrow
38 saturday
52 sunday
47 monday
32 tuesday
37 wednesday

do you know how hard it is to keep your closet organized for this fluctuation in temperatures?

it should NEVER be in the 50s in January (we have already had a 60 degree day this month). 

and Colorado is down the last three years on snow by 6 FEET.  we've barely had anything.

the struggle is real.

or maybe i'm just getting old and crotchety. 

maybe i need to move to Alaska.  or North Dakota. 

overheard

when i got home from work last night, i asked my dog how her day was.   she said "rough."

bwhahahahahahaha  i thought that was funny as hell.

music

the soul of our lives.

music has incredible power over us.  i am always listening to music.  at work, in the car, running errands, cleaning.

my genre "mood" changes often:  swedish doom metal (Katatonia) to metal, hard rock, classic rock, soft rock, old school rap, old school R&B, newer rap (Eminem and NF are favs), to easy listening and spa type music.

right now on my Pandora, i've been listening to Soft Rock radio for about a week.  hearing a lot of songs from my late teens, early 20s (80s..).

i had "thumbs downed" this particular song in my other genres because it was the song i had given to skeet last year when we reconnected.  i felt it fit our situation to a T.  we listened to it and talked about it multiple times.  it literally gaves me goosebumps, made me catch my breath, and invokes such sadness.

i realized that i had not thought about him in a few days, until i was gut punched.

it came on my queue.  *sigh*

Love Remains the Same

A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me wanna run till I find you

I shut the world away from here
Drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I, never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink, to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But, love remains the same

Find a place where we escape
Take you with me for a space
The city bus sounds just like a fridge

I walk the streets through seven bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I, never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink, to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But, love remains the same

So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me now
We shall overcome

So all that's left is praying

But we, should have had the sun
We could have been inside
Instead we're over here

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

Too much time too long defending
You and I are done pretending

I, never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink, to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made

Everything will change
Everything will change

I, oh I,
I wish this could last forever
I, oh I,
as if we could last forever

Love remains the same
Love remains the same

love letter #12

remember me talking about my friend here at work who is critically ill but always uplifts everyone around her?

i'm still sitting here with a smile on my face.  this morning when i came in, she told me that i looked so beautiful.  i don't look any different than any other day, but i haven't seen her since before Christmas. 

just those kind words completely uplifted my soul today.

i want her to know (and i told her) that SHE looked beautiful and healthy, and that she looked like she was doing better than the last time i had seen her.  she had the same illness i had over Christmas so on top of her other issues, that had to be horrible to deal with.  it kicked MY ass.

but her smile lights up this office.  her sense of humor is infectious, and she just puts others in a good mood.

thank you, girl.  💙💚💛💜💖

love letter #11

omg this lady is my new hero!

what an amazing accomplishment and what spirit and attitude!  went vegan at 70 (yay!!) and is healthier now than she's ever been.

thank you for the inspiration!


i mean seriously, i have no fucking excuses.  i don't want to waste 15 more years. 

if she can do it, so can i!

down 84.8 lbs, 77.4 lbs more to go to goal!  woot woot!

love letter #10

this is love and pride to my son.

a 20 year drug addict and 15 year crystal meth addict, is turning his life around.

after being in a year long Therapeutic Community program in prison, he has been clean off meth  and other hard drugs (coke, MDMA, heroin) for over a year.  he slipped up with weed a few months ago but is back on track.

i've been so proud of his hard work.   he has held a job for 4 months, the longest in his life.  and it's a job he absolutely loves.  he's a pantry chef at a very high end restaurant and sends me pic every so often to show me his creations.  very impressive!

but today,  he was just accepted for his first apartment.  he has roommates, but he had to apply to be on the lease with them.  he has a long criminal record from his years as an addict, but this is the second step that he's accomplished in creating a new life for himself.

i am so fucking proud of him.

when he told me today, i could not stop smiling.

i love you, son.

you have become an amazing man and i am so happy to see the path you are on.  keep up this hard work.  life will never be easy, but it's a lot easier than being an addict, living in squalor, never knowing when your next meal will come, sleeping outside, etc.  

you are making your own money, paying bills, have a bank account and now an apartment to call your own for the first time in your life.

i couldn't be happier for you or more proud.

i am always here for you.  💚💙💚💙 (sort of Seahawks colors!  😜)

WHAT????

nooooooooooooooooooooooo!

how / why did this happen? 

WHY????

his son is going with him as well.  

well shit. 

i am completely disappointed. 

*sigh*

love note #9

i think this is a GREAT story.

kudos to the Canadians!  they are always so nice to us! 

and while it is not much, they are reaching out and showing that they care.  and those little gestures are what matters in life.  just knowing that someone actually cares, can make all the difference.

blah

i haven't had much to post about the last couple of days.

i haven't had an interaction that would strive to be the subject of a love note.  i haven't read anything that really prompted me to feel uplifted about.

i think my approaching birthday is the issue.  i'm thinking about skeet 1,000 time a day as it was my last birthday in 2018 that he called me after 35 years.  and while he didn't text me at all on Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years, i am sick to my stomach that he won't acknowledge that he started this up again 350 some days ago and then left me, again. 

the anxiety is killing me despite my trying to occupy my mind elsewhere. 

i guess it's hurting so much because i know he's not going to contact and that will be the final confirmation that this person i have loved for 38 years, will never contact me again.

love note #8

i'm writing this love note to my scale.

i have been working hard on my eating plan and working out.  i am down 32 lbs since September 2018. 

i have a lot more to lose but this morning when i saw the reading ... i truly loved my scale.

🍇🍈🍉🍊🍋🍌🍍🍎🍓🎉🎉🎉

i hate movie critics

really. 

it is just their "opinion."  the ONLY opinion that matters is the one of the viewers of the film who pay to see it.  right?

i love M. Night Shyamalan.  always have.  i have seen all of his movies and own several.  i have been so excited for Glass to come out.   the fucking trailer on IMDB is bad ass.  omg how can they say this movie is bad????

i hate that the critics have said this is worst movie EVER.  (yea, no.  that would have to be Lady in The Water).   but i don't care what they say.  i can't wait to see this film.  it might even be one that i see in a theater. 

the trailer gives me goose bumps.  freakin James McAvoy is an incredible actor.  especially in this movie and the first movie, Split. 24 personalities he has, and he switches from one to the next in a nano-second.

he should get an Oscar nom next season. 

squee!!!

 

go Broncos!

finally.

we have a new head coach.

most exciting thing about this is that beloved Gary Kubiak will return to the sidelines as offensive coordinator.  Coach Kubiak took us to Superbowl 50.  and we won!

now, we just need a qb. 

i can't wait

winter is coming. 

instant karma

not that i wish injury or harm to anyone (except Resident Chump), however, this is so ironic. 

they were going out to kill animals for fun, and a brilliant lab shot the hunter. 

c'mon it's a little funny. 

one for the animals!!

🐂🐃🐄🐅🐆🐇🐈🐊🐋🐎🐏🐐🐑🐒🐓🐔🐕🐖🐗🐘🐣🐤🐥🐪🐫🐬🐮🐯🐰🐱🐳🐴🐶🐷🐹🐺🐻🐼🐾

more lies

it's not that i wish that he'd start telling the truth, because he never will.

it's not that i wish he'd shut his trap and stay off Twitter, because he never will.

i just wish that we will be able to stand another 2 years of this utter bullshit and then get the whole GOP out of the White House.  impeachment isn't going to do anything because then Pence would be the President and that could be even worse.  he's not a blubbering buffoon, but he's dangerous.

gawd bring the blue wave in 2020 to drown them all.  please baby geezus.

and this just shows more of what a piece of shit he is. 

and this.

R. Kelly

this dude is mentally ill.

he is a pedophile and needs to be stopped.

i watched this documentary and was absolutely appalled.  i remember when the accusations first came out but i didn't really know the extend of what happened and/or why.

he is one sick individual.

i watched a documentary last night on Charles Manson.  R. Kelly is exactly the same kind of cult manipulator - EXACTLY - except R. Kelly hasn't killed anyone.  that we know of.  yet.

facts to know

before the address tonight.

yea, his whole staff lies for him too.

the shutdown

the continued shut down of the US Government is despicable.

there is story after story of how this is affecting families across the United States.  i know i would be homeless if i lost even one paycheck.  my credit that i've worked so hard to maintain would be ruined.  my heart goes out to these people who are dealing with this nonsense.

the nonsense of a narcissistic, megalomaniac, racist, rapist, pathologically lying, piece of crap.  his little temper tantrum is wreaking havoc for 800,000 federal workers.  what. the fuck.

oh, but he said yesterday, he can relate.  BHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  pig.

tonight this buffoon is going to "address the nation" to get support for his fucking wall.  he constantly has to prove he is RIGHT when in fact he doesn't even know how to tell the truth!!  he lies about everything!! 

now these guys, i love. 

i will not, however, give this miscreant one second of my time to watch him make up a bunch more lies.  the sight of him makes me physically ill. 

i can just read about all the nonsense tomorrow.

love letter #8

this.

dream. come. true.

love letter #7

all it takes to make or break someone's day is a small gesture.

this morning, as i was walking up to the building to come into work, i was a good 70 feet behind another woman.  she was already at the door as i started walking up the stairs.  when i got to the top of the stairs, i realized she was standing there holding the door for me!

i genuinely thanked her, stating that she didn't have to wait for me.  she smiled and said, "it only was a couple of seconds to wait...."

how many times have you not wanted to wait for someone close behind you going into the store, the mall, the restaurant, because you were in a hurry? 

if we all just waited a few more seconds, imagine the effect it would have on someone.  it just might change their entire day. 

it sure did mine.  thank you young woman, who held the door for me.  you are much appreciated.

love letter #6

poor Cody Parkey.

yesterday, he had to be the most humiliated person in sports.

in a playoff game, he missed a final field goal which would have won his team the game.  the strange thing was, he went to make the kick and just as he kicked the football, the Eagles coach called a time-out.  the field goal was perfect, but obviously didn't count.

then, after the time out and he went to kick again, he missed.  i get that a lot of sports folks were saying yesterday, "you have ONE job, just one."  but by the same token, his team should have made it such that they were not down by 1 point and not put the entire pressure of the win on one person.

so this love letter was to uplift Cody Parkey and let him know that it's not the end of the world (although i know it seems like it) and that the sun will rise tomorrow.  and a reminder that you still make millions of dollars as a kicker in the NFL.

that being said, i was very happy to just read that the NFL changed the ruling from a "missed field goal" to a "blocked field goal" as upon further review, it was discovered that an Eagles player tipped the ball which caused it to go awry.

not that it changes the outcome of the game, but at least it's not on his record that he missed a field goal in a playoff game.  💜💜💜

broken resolution already

it's only the 7th and i've broken both resolutions.

i did not post a love letter yesterday.  i will continue from here (today) and go forward but i imagine i won't hit 365 by the end of the year.  i'm predicting 340.  if i go over that, fantastic.

oy vey!

love note #5

what a smile.

this little guy has gone through more than most of us will ever in a lifetime.

this story warmed my heart in many ways.  my heart is full of love to his parents who faced the worst nightmare ever .. losing a child.  my heart is full of love to his siblings who get to live their life with this guy on the team.  my heart is full of love to him because he never gave up and he fought.

my love is with St. Jude Children's Hospital.  what a magnificent thing they do for families and kids.

and my love is with the countless people who donate to this worthy cause to help families and eradicate childhood cancer.

he is insane

no.  seriously.

he is fucking insane.

"How do you impeach a president who has won perhaps the greatest election of all time, done nothing wrong (no Collusion with Russia, it was the Dems that Colluded), had the most successful first two years of any president, and is the most popular Republican in party history 93%?" Trump tweeted.

i mean, what more is there to say?

he is more frightening than the demons in A Quiet Place or Bird Box.

love note #4

there have been a lot of stories i've posted lately about kids doing amazing things for others.

for one 11 year old, saving a life was the most important thing he could do.  because, he said, "It would be hard for his family to get through."

kudos to Advaik Nandikotkur.  he stepped up when no one else would.

if i'm ever in a situation where my life is in jeopardy, i hope there is an Advaik around. 

if you need a laugh today

read *this* .... because i'm still rolling on the floor.

*blank stare* 😐

love note #3

i have a beautiful friend who is a mother to three; two boys and one girl.  all late teens.  she is married and takes care of her household when she'd done working for the day.  her boys play h.s. football and her daughter is in college.  she never misses a game or event. 

she is very ill.  type 1 diabetes has caught up with her and she's in kidney failure.  she's only 40.  it's likely that she won't see her kids get married; hopefully she will get to see the youngest graduate from high school in another year.

constant doctor appointments, lab tests, blood draws, finger sticking and more dominate her life.  she never feels good.  always tired.

yet she ALWAYS is concerned about everyone else.  always asks how you are doing.  always asks if there is anything she can do for you .. to make your life easier / better.  always has a smile on her face. 

i love you my friend. you always make ME smile.  you always are a bright light in the often dark parts of my world.  you always remind me that i have a lot to be thankful for, without even saying a word. 

you are an inspiration.  and i want you to know i'm here for you - no matter what.  💜💙

people disgust me

i don't understand what is wrong with people. 

i really don't.

on a daily basis i'm incredulous at how human beings act in the most despicable ways.

due to Resident Chump and the federal shutdown of the government, our National Parks are not being serviced, monitored or cared for.  park personnel and rangers are not being paid and so they are not allowed to work.

in the mean time, people visiting parks across the country are acting like heathens and cave people.   people are leaving their trash and garbage, along with their excrement, all over the place?? who does this???

where is the common courtesy for fellow man, let alone respect and care taking of our natural resources?  people are damaging years and years of nature for WHAT?  WHAT do you gain from this? 

i am so embarrassed by my fellow humans. 

love note #2

today i had to run into the grocery store. 

this causes me a lot of anxiety as i don't like to be in public.  so many times through my life i have been ridiculed, mocked, and made fun of for various reasons.  in the more recent years it's been because of my weight. 

(that, by the way, is going great.  i'm down 29lbs.  i have a long way to go, but i'm on the way.  🎉🎈)

anyway, i am still sick and generally feel like crap.  however, i still make an effort when i have to go to work.  so it's not like i look like a troll, but my nose is red from all the blowing and wiping.  i just want to get in and get out.

i'm in an aisle and there are others there and this gentleman needed to get through.  i scooched towards the shelves and let him by. 

he said:  "i'm so sorry, excuse me."

i said:  "oh no!!  it's all good. you're fine."

he said:  "and so are YOU."  and he winked as he walked by.

😮😲😳

wow.  it's been a very long time since i've heard something like this.  but it warmed my heart.  and made me feel not so awkward in this ever superficial world of social media and perfection. 

this man will never really understand how those four words changed the whole course of my day. 

thank you guy in the grocery store.  i wish you to have an amazing 2019.  you certainly just set mine off right.

resolutions / love note #1

i'm not one for making resolutions because inevitably by the 4th or 5th of January i've already broken them; however, this year i'm making two.

#1.  i read a great article today about a woman who made a resolution to write a love note every day for 365 days.  this doesn't mean to a significant other, although i suppose if the shoe fits it's appropriate.  but just uplifting people in general.    so i am going to do that, starting today.

#2.  i am going to TRY and not be such an aggressive driver; i.e., not yell at others who don't know how to drive.  i do this a lot and it's not healthy.  i'm going to try and breathe through those moments without yelling or flipping someone off.  i have to start that tomorrow because today is already shot.  heh ...

and thanks for reading.  it's good to know that someone, somewhere is interested in what i have to say or is just along for the entertainment that is my life.  either way, you're my first love note.

i live a pretty solitary life.  it's not easy for me to make / keep friends.  i have gained some social anxiety issues in the last several years, so i don't go out much.  so thank you to those who have found me here and have taken the time to read ... AND come back.  i appreciate you more than you know, even though i may never know who you are.

happy new year.  💜💙💚