settling in

still trying to get into the swing of things here in california. it's kind of strange at time. there are moments that i find myself thinking that i need to run over to PetSmart or something and i realize that i'm not in kansas anymore (denver). i'm a very long way from home and even if i wanted to get there ~ i'm not sure how i could.

life in this house is chaotic at best. there are good days but most days are drama filled. i know part of it is my adjustment from living alone the last 25 years and having to adjust to "roommates" but man, these guys are something else. it's bi-polar-ish. one day things are ok and the next people are acting crazy. the disrespect of one another astounds me. especially the 18 year old. he's as entitled as my son is. he doesn't break the law (that i know of) but he is as bad ~ or worse. the other one barely talks to me and when he does, it's a criticism of some kind. and the man of the house. *sigh*

work is going ok. i've been busy working on a few different projects. i have no idea what the status of the job is. if it's long term or not. i wish i had a better idea of what is going to happen. i really want to move and i have decided that when i do move, it's going to be to Long Beach. it's so beautiful there and right on the ocean. yea i realize that when *the big one* happens i'll end up in the sea but maybe that's my destiny.

sienna had a bad day today. when i got home from work she went out to potty and ate something off the dirt. i realize immediately that she picked up something right on top of a california fire ant hill. she immediately started coughing and rubbing at her nose. i think that she ate some of them and also probably got bit by a few on her nose / muzzle. i have been watching her closely because for a bit she seemed to be having some kind of reaction but she seems ok now.

this whole thing still just astounds me. i can't believe i'm not at *my* home with *my* things in *my own* space. i don't know that i will ever again find a place where i truly feel like i belong. i know it's not in this house. i know my roommates would be more than happy to be rid of me.

i also got bit by a spider in the night on my bicep. it is swollen and bruised.

someone get me outta here.