at last

it's amazing how the internet and cable has improved my mood. i guess they are luxury things but when you are in a home without any access to news, friends, family, the world ~ it sucks.

john is gone 5 1/2 days a week coupled with the fact that i don't know my way around anywhere leaves me stranded at home. i'm thankful for my job which gets me out of the house. i have made a few new friends ~ girls who have worked at this company 16 and 25 years respectively. they are best friends. but i long to get OUT and see things. i am going to start a list of sites that i want to see and i will add to it. then i will check off what i have seen and work my way through.

now that i have internet access again i can mapquest some things and venture out. but i without the mountains i have no sense of direction. yes, there are mountains here. however, living in the valley they are on more than one horizon ~ so i don't know where west is!! when someone gives me directions and they say go north on santa fe street, i don't know which way is north! tell me turn right or left!

california drivers are very rude and psycho. people weren't kidding when they said that you take your life in your hands every day when driving on the highways. even side streets. people are aggressive, rude and dangerous. i like driving but trying to navigate on 6 lane highways leaves much to be desired.

there have also been three earthquakes since i've been here but none near enough that i've felt anything. i hope this doesn't mean "the big one" is coming. i did predict that; however. such would be my luck. :)

i have a few things to do this weekend - clean, laundry and catch up on True Blood, The Closer, Raising the Bar and Whale Wars episodes. hope you have a good one too!

sore

i am sore all over from the fall out of the bed yesterday.

my wrist hurts. i have bruises all over my abdomen. my pinky toe is now black and blue down the side of my foot. i have scrapes/bruises on my knees. i wonder what i was thinking or doing in my dream that caused me to throw myself off the bed .. if i didn't feel like such crap, it would be funny. i can admit it.

things at the house are tentative at best. there is no consistency and anyone who knows me would is aware that nothing more causes me anxiety and stress than lack of it. the *deal* about him cooking and me cleaning has partially fallen by the wayside ~ the part about him cooking. that lasted about two weeks. i think because his work schedule is changing that he's slacking in anticipation. it's ok. i will get my first real check this weekend and i will buy stuff for sandwiches and put it in MY little fridge so i can have stuff for lunch. i do not want to go back to eating fast food three times a day.

other than that, driving to work this morning i was thinking wow. i'm in california. the highways are really pretty here as they are mostly tree lined. the drivers here are insane but i think i knew that's how it was going to be. am i completely happy and content? no. there is too much unsettled back in colorado that has me worried. there is also a lack of "belongingness" here for me but i suspect that will diminsh after a while.

i miss my friends though. very much.