Tuesday, February 21, 2012
i saw a quote today which really struck me ~
If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.
~Lao Tzu
how true is this? i can look back and equate the on going depression in my life to living in the past; wishing i had done things different, making different choices, being more aware of who i hurt and how my actions affected others, being more open and honest about how things affected me. not being so selfish at certain times, but more giving. it's humbling to really take stock of things and own what's yours.
i am trying very hard to find a calm place - a center, if you will - to be present now and not worrying about the future and not looking at the past. i can't change anything that has happened - i can only make sure that i make good choices going forward. i need to see things through the heart.
i think peace is what we all want. we want the ebb and flow of life to be calm and steady. no one likes the stress, the pain, the anxiousness, the ups and downs. we all want and need to be loved. to have those loved ones around us and supporting us and in turn, supporting them when they need it. it's a give and take - sharing of hearts.
my focus is on getting my health back. by continuing to value myself and take care of myself - instead of abusing myself with food. first step is losing weight. toning. becoming healthy and active. staying off the meds for diabetes because i am eating the right things.
second, mending relationships where i can and becoming emotionally healthy. spending time meditating, reflection, being still, listening and practicing being centered. clearing the mind of unnecessary things and filling it with positive energy. this can only bring about joy and happiness in myself and to others.
it has taken me a very very long time to get to this place. i've spent half my life in the negative. it's time now to reach for the positive.
it's time.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
mr & mrs
ahhh. so it's a done deal. my son is a married man. i have a daughter-in-law. i have three step-grandchildren. i can honestly say i never thought i would see this happen. but i am happy for my son, happy for Jen .. and glad to expand the family.
red rocks was beautiful - gorgeous day with the sun shining, but snow on the mountains. love KBPI, Uncle Nasty and Matt Need for having this event. i know next year that Adam and Jen will go back to re-new their vows and i hope they make it a yearly thing - to reconnect and remember the day.
it is a busy week for me. getting ready for the site review in addition to being the prep person for the Professional Development Day on the 20th. another weigh-in on Friday and i haven't had the chance to really work out this week. i'm a little stressed about the weigh-in - but as long as i don't gain any, i'm okay with that. i have not cheated - even yesterday with all the gourmet cupcakes, cake, food, etc around. i was prepared - had my protein shake, an apple and almonds! two more weigh ins after this Friday, the last being March 2. hope to see some good results and be on my way to my first goal in June!
red rocks was beautiful - gorgeous day with the sun shining, but snow on the mountains. love KBPI, Uncle Nasty and Matt Need for having this event. i know next year that Adam and Jen will go back to re-new their vows and i hope they make it a yearly thing - to reconnect and remember the day.
it is a busy week for me. getting ready for the site review in addition to being the prep person for the Professional Development Day on the 20th. another weigh-in on Friday and i haven't had the chance to really work out this week. i'm a little stressed about the weigh-in - but as long as i don't gain any, i'm okay with that. i have not cheated - even yesterday with all the gourmet cupcakes, cake, food, etc around. i was prepared - had my protein shake, an apple and almonds! two more weigh ins after this Friday, the last being March 2. hope to see some good results and be on my way to my first goal in June!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
weigh in
tomorrow could be the last day of the 2012 Pound Down. there had been some talk of it being extended for another week due to the snow storm we had last Friday, but i guess no one knows for sure. either way - i will be glad when it's done. then i can just "get on with it" on my own and not have the pressure of weigh-ins on Fridays. i'm not going to let that deter the intensity of my following the plan or work outs .. i just won't be so stressed on Thursday nights. :)
i went to Kaiser and weighed in at the kiosk and was down a total of 8 lbs ... which added to the 5 from the contest = 13. 13 lbs and 14.25" in 31 days is nothing to sneeze at. i'm happy with that. that puts me at 225 according to the Pound Down scale and i have not been at THAT weight for at least 10 years. that is incredible to me.
since this journey is just beginning .. i think this is a great start. and i am proud of myself that i have stuck to it.
i went to Kaiser and weighed in at the kiosk and was down a total of 8 lbs ... which added to the 5 from the contest = 13. 13 lbs and 14.25" in 31 days is nothing to sneeze at. i'm happy with that. that puts me at 225 according to the Pound Down scale and i have not been at THAT weight for at least 10 years. that is incredible to me.
since this journey is just beginning .. i think this is a great start. and i am proud of myself that i have stuck to it.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
anticipation
so i am excited for a few things coming up.
of course, first would be my son's wedding. while it may not be a "traditional" event ... it is THEIR event and that is all that matters. they are excited ... nervous ... anxious. had a long talk with both of them tonight - calming their nerves and making some plans. that seemed to go a long way to alleviate some of the tension they are feeling - mostly Adam! i tell you he is a groomzilla!
all i know is that Red Rocks is going to be beautiful and i hope my camera gets some good pictures. his father is coming out from Washington - maybe even his step-brother and step-sister. then a small family / close friends gathering afterwards, with a bigger picnic / reception in the spring when it can be outside in nice weather. they think that's perfect and so do i.
also - another weigh-in this Friday. since i was at -6.5 last Thursday .. it would rock if i could be at say ... maybe another -4? i would be super happy with that. honestly though, i'd be happy not to have gained any of the 6.5 back. LOL although i don't know how that would be possible. my blood sugar this morning was 111 with no oral meds or insulin yesterday. my blood sugar before lunch was 104 and tonight before dinner it was 100. all of this w/out meds!! i am so happy for this. a change of life. tomorrow is day 30 on the program ... and i have worked my ass off. it feels great!
some inspiration:
Only a powerful soul can offer love.
Only a powerful soul can afford to be humble.
If we are weak, then we become selfish.
If we are empty, we take;
but if we are filled, we automatically give to all.
That is our nature.
~Dadi Prakashmani
"When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that it doesn't have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space. Your world seems less solid, more roomy and spacious. The burden lightens." - Pema Chodron (Start Where You Are)
"Never, and I mean never, allow anyone else’s ideas of who you can or can’t become sully your dream or pollute your imagination. This is your territory, and a KEEP OUT sign is a great thing to erect at all entrances to your imagination." - unknown
One of the most powerful tools for raising your vibration and attracting Divine support is to openly acknowledge out loud what you love on a regular basis. For example, rather than spending your lunch break talking about the boss you hate, the postal clerk who gets on your nerves, or the bad drivers on the road, focus instead on the wonderful friend from college who will be visiting, or the corner coffee shop that makes the best latte you've ever had. In other words affirm the good things in life when you speak. Do the same when you chat with your friends on the phone or email them. You don't have to be in the presence of others. Everything you say , whether heard or not, holds an enormous magnetic vibration, so speaking of what you love not only heals your heart, it actually attracts what you love. The same goes for what you hate, which is what most 5 sensory, fear based people talk most about. Simply announcing to yourselves and others who and what you love balances your vibration and draws people to you. It also opens your heart and realigns you with your true path and purpose. Do this for a few minutes every day, and it will correct your course, fill your aura with sweetness and heal your life. Trust your vibes. ~ Sonia Choquette
of course, first would be my son's wedding. while it may not be a "traditional" event ... it is THEIR event and that is all that matters. they are excited ... nervous ... anxious. had a long talk with both of them tonight - calming their nerves and making some plans. that seemed to go a long way to alleviate some of the tension they are feeling - mostly Adam! i tell you he is a groomzilla!
all i know is that Red Rocks is going to be beautiful and i hope my camera gets some good pictures. his father is coming out from Washington - maybe even his step-brother and step-sister. then a small family / close friends gathering afterwards, with a bigger picnic / reception in the spring when it can be outside in nice weather. they think that's perfect and so do i.
also - another weigh-in this Friday. since i was at -6.5 last Thursday .. it would rock if i could be at say ... maybe another -4? i would be super happy with that. honestly though, i'd be happy not to have gained any of the 6.5 back. LOL although i don't know how that would be possible. my blood sugar this morning was 111 with no oral meds or insulin yesterday. my blood sugar before lunch was 104 and tonight before dinner it was 100. all of this w/out meds!! i am so happy for this. a change of life. tomorrow is day 30 on the program ... and i have worked my ass off. it feels great!
some inspiration:
Only a powerful soul can offer love.
Only a powerful soul can afford to be humble.
If we are weak, then we become selfish.
If we are empty, we take;
but if we are filled, we automatically give to all.
That is our nature.
~Dadi Prakashmani
"When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that it doesn't have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space. Your world seems less solid, more roomy and spacious. The burden lightens." - Pema Chodron (Start Where You Are)
"Never, and I mean never, allow anyone else’s ideas of who you can or can’t become sully your dream or pollute your imagination. This is your territory, and a KEEP OUT sign is a great thing to erect at all entrances to your imagination." - unknown
One of the most powerful tools for raising your vibration and attracting Divine support is to openly acknowledge out loud what you love on a regular basis. For example, rather than spending your lunch break talking about the boss you hate, the postal clerk who gets on your nerves, or the bad drivers on the road, focus instead on the wonderful friend from college who will be visiting, or the corner coffee shop that makes the best latte you've ever had. In other words affirm the good things in life when you speak. Do the same when you chat with your friends on the phone or email them. You don't have to be in the presence of others. Everything you say , whether heard or not, holds an enormous magnetic vibration, so speaking of what you love not only heals your heart, it actually attracts what you love. The same goes for what you hate, which is what most 5 sensory, fear based people talk most about. Simply announcing to yourselves and others who and what you love balances your vibration and draws people to you. It also opens your heart and realigns you with your true path and purpose. Do this for a few minutes every day, and it will correct your course, fill your aura with sweetness and heal your life. Trust your vibes. ~ Sonia Choquette
Monday, February 6, 2012
football is over .. now what?
so football is finished for another season. sad the Broncos didn't go farther but it was such a great time this year. excitement that hasn't been around for a long time. we'll just have to wait until August ... right?
Saturday, February 4, 2012
snow
and snow it did! started snowing thursday night and snowed until about noon today. official totals for northglenn were from 18 - 20" and i believe it.
you can see the progression from the first to the last pic. that's a lot of snow!
i love it. that is what i like about colorado. winter. i even went walking on Friday during the snow. now that i have started the working out and eating right and experiencing the inches and weight loss, it's important for me not to let anything get in the way of getting that exercise.
my blood sugars are still in the normal range w/out insulin - and that is huge. as i continue to lose weight, hopefully i will get off the oral meds . 11 lbs in 25 days is an accomplishment! hopefully the weigh in this friday will produce some dramatic results for me. tomorrow is measurement day. i really don't expect to see another big jump with that, but i have been working hard so who knows? i just may be surprised.
things have taken a turn for me and i know it's because of my general well-being. working on my health also meant working on my mental health. after the events of the fall and losing my oldest sister - the only one speaking to me at the time - and reliving the pain all over again that my family doesn't speak to me and wants nothing to do with me, i had sunk very low. the lowest i had been in a number of years. the week of christmas, i had to find reasons to live. but i hung on.
i'm really glad i did.
it's time to pick myself up, dust myself off and move forward. time to realize that i need to love myself - for the kind, caring, compassionate person i know am and cherishing the people who think the same of me. time to quit abusing my body (health) and to start taking care of it.
it's a new year. a new me. new choices. having just turned 50 ... hopefully i have at least 40 more to go. i want to make them great ones. watch my grandchildren grow up. be active.
and most of all, be at peace.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
snow day!
learned a few hours ago that DPS is closed .. so that means my work is closed! biggest storm of the season has begun - we are supposed to get up to 20"? we will see if that happens ....
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
new beginnings
~*~ Adam and Jen ~*~
February 14, 2012
my son is getting married.
i am incredibly happy for him. despite his life choices up to this point, one thing had remained steadfast. since he was about 14 or 15, he has always said he wanted to get married and have a family. a big family. husband, wife and kids.
i have wished this for him. put it out to the universe. and it is finally happening.
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. ~ Theodore Hesburgh
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy
The most important marriage skill is listening to your partner in a way that they can't possibly doubt that you love them. - Diane Sollee
Marriage is the hardest thing you will ever do. The secret is removing divorce as an option. - Will Smith
time flies ...
*poof* *poof* blowing off the dust.
it's been a LONG time. that's okay though. time to get started again as this is a brand new year for me. i've put lots of changes into motion - all good.
i will use this blog to chronicle my journey into health and well-being in 2012. lose weight. control blood sugar. control blood pressure. get mentally and physically healthy. it is time, people, it is time.
will be posting pics and updating regularly. and writing again. soul searching. contemplating. enjoy the ride!
it's been a LONG time. that's okay though. time to get started again as this is a brand new year for me. i've put lots of changes into motion - all good.
i will use this blog to chronicle my journey into health and well-being in 2012. lose weight. control blood sugar. control blood pressure. get mentally and physically healthy. it is time, people, it is time.
will be posting pics and updating regularly. and writing again. soul searching. contemplating. enjoy the ride!
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