they weren't sure what was wrong with her. after x-rays and blood work, they thought maybe arthritis. but when i took her home, she couldn't get up at all. they had been checking her blood sugar and saw it was very very low. in the 35 - 40 range. normal for a dog is 80. they kept her last night and put her on an IV with glucose in it. this morning her blood sugar was still 38. they did an ultrasound to find that she has a large mass in her pancreas area. they believe (without doing a biopsy) that it's cancer because of the placement and size.
i have to go down to the vet today at 11:00 and have her put to sleep. i am destroyed.
she has been my constant companion for 11 years. she has been with me through everything i've endured the last few years. every day when i had my wound dressing changed she would lay on the bed with me and rest her chin on my arm as if to comfort and protect me. every time i cried she was right next to me.
i will write more when i can do so without tears streaming down my face.
sienna ~ when i called you the best. dog. ever. i meant it. you have been a complete joy to me, always. such a good girl. while you didn't always listen, you had your silly eyebrows and your cute face to make me smile. i love you so so much. i can't believe i won't snuggle in bed with you tonight getting doggy kisses on my face.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.
Her bright eyes are intent. Her eager body quivers. Suddenly she begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, her legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
If It Should Be
Author Unknown.
If it should be that I grow weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.
You will be sad, I understand;
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.
We've had so many happy years -
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come, so let me go.
Take me where my needs they'll tend
And please stay with me until the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Please do not grieve - it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years -
Don't let your heart hold back its tears
Sienna
10.18.98 - 12.11.09
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