i found out monday night that my beloved brother-in-law passed away in February. yes, February.
no, my family didn't tell me and this is something i'm not sure i can forgive. they really talk about being Christians, etc., but the way they have treated me is anything BUT being Christ-like.
anyway ...
growing up he was like my father. my father died when i was 10. he and my sister were like my surrogate parents because my mother was so abusive. i would spend a lot of time at their house; i baby sat my nieces and just hung out.
he would be working in his shop and i would just hang out. he was a firefighter his entire working career and there would be times we'd go visit him at his station.
he taught me how to drive.
he worked on my car(s) and would want me to help.
we were always very close. i loved him and my sister so much.
things changed and my sister shut me out of her life for years. it wasn't until my oldest sister passed away that we reconciled, so i thought. he had just been diagnosed with stomach cancer. a year or so later she was diagnosed with liver cancer. i wanted to spend as much time with them as i could, but she didn't really want to, i guess.
one of the times he was in the hospital, i went to visit him and we talked for about three hours. in that conversation, he said to me, "I don't know if you ever knew this but I always thought of you as one of my daughters." with tears in my eyes, i said, "Well, I don't know if you ever knew this but I always thought of you as my surrogate father." i know he missed me being part of their lives, but as the old saying goes, happy wife, happy life.
my two other sisters were also estranged from her. she had made it very clear that she wanted nothing to do with them - ever again. my mother was great at teaching us to be mean to each other, but she was adamant.
other things happened that really hurt my feelings and we fell apart again.
i figured this out Monday night and was shocked to find both of my sisters and their families knew about this right after it happened. my entire family knew that he had passed.
except me.
why? WHY???
although i didn't get to say goodbye to him, i will always have that conversation we shared.
and i'm left to wonder, again, what is so awfully wrong with me that my sister(s) and their kids hate me so fucking much.
i'm devastated and distraught.
rip Chris. 💙💙💙
no, my family didn't tell me and this is something i'm not sure i can forgive. they really talk about being Christians, etc., but the way they have treated me is anything BUT being Christ-like.
anyway ...
growing up he was like my father. my father died when i was 10. he and my sister were like my surrogate parents because my mother was so abusive. i would spend a lot of time at their house; i baby sat my nieces and just hung out.
he would be working in his shop and i would just hang out. he was a firefighter his entire working career and there would be times we'd go visit him at his station.
he taught me how to drive.
he worked on my car(s) and would want me to help.
we were always very close. i loved him and my sister so much.
things changed and my sister shut me out of her life for years. it wasn't until my oldest sister passed away that we reconciled, so i thought. he had just been diagnosed with stomach cancer. a year or so later she was diagnosed with liver cancer. i wanted to spend as much time with them as i could, but she didn't really want to, i guess.
one of the times he was in the hospital, i went to visit him and we talked for about three hours. in that conversation, he said to me, "I don't know if you ever knew this but I always thought of you as one of my daughters." with tears in my eyes, i said, "Well, I don't know if you ever knew this but I always thought of you as my surrogate father." i know he missed me being part of their lives, but as the old saying goes, happy wife, happy life.
my two other sisters were also estranged from her. she had made it very clear that she wanted nothing to do with them - ever again. my mother was great at teaching us to be mean to each other, but she was adamant.
other things happened that really hurt my feelings and we fell apart again.
i figured this out Monday night and was shocked to find both of my sisters and their families knew about this right after it happened. my entire family knew that he had passed.
except me.
why? WHY???
although i didn't get to say goodbye to him, i will always have that conversation we shared.
and i'm left to wonder, again, what is so awfully wrong with me that my sister(s) and their kids hate me so fucking much.
i'm devastated and distraught.
rip Chris. 💙💙💙
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